Staycation Days 11-15 (Monday -Friday)

Happy Monday to all!  Well, like the old saying goes, all good things must come to an end. My staycation is officially over and now its back to the grind.

I’m okay with that.  Although I’m not looking forward to seeing how many emails are waiting for me, I welcome the routine and catching up with my colleagues.

 

Here’s a condensed version of what last week looked like.  Monday I headed out to Mont Tremblant for the 24th Annual Blues Festival.  I am so glad I went.  It’s so lovely out there.  The hotels in the village are nestled in the mountain.  Picture if you will a 360 degree view of lush greenery and mountain peaks and cobble stone streets.  It looked a little like a cross between Switzerland and New Orleans French quarter.

It was my first time at the blues fest.  The act I wanted to see live was Angel Forrest.  She is amazing.  I also “discovered” two new acts; Godboogie and Brody Buster.  Their tunes are now securely downloaded to my iPod. Love it.

My hotel was amazingly awesome for a three star.  In fact everything there was super clean.  The area has a distinct chill vibe to it.  It’s a favorite for hikers and ski bums/bunnies.

The drive back home on Tuesday morning left me feeling a little blue (no pun intended).  It was a mix of wishing I could stay longer and just wanting to go home.

Tuesday was spent just chilling at home and catching up to PVR’d episodes of 20/20/  Something was off though; I just couldn’t shake the restless/lonely feeling in my gut.   I glanced over at my guitar sitting in the corner and dusted it off, opened up my Yousician app and spent time practicing.  A couple hours flew by, just like that.   When I was done, my fingers felt raw from the strings, but the feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment was undeniable.

Wednesday I spent the day with mom.  I picked her up and we headed out to Granby Zoo.  I had not been in years.  The weather was perfect; a little on the coolish side, but the animals were in full view and not hiding from the heat.

Thursday was another quiet day spent working on the decorations for the church vacation bible study coming up next week.  Later in the afternoon I got an invite from the prodigal to come over for supper.  He is turning into quite a good cook and his new apartment is coming along nicely.  His girlfriend’s little son is starting to warm up to me.  managed to get a hug from him as I was leaving.  There’s a bit of an unpleasant situation going on there, but that’s a story for another post.

Friday was spent on decorations again and later in the evening I caught up with a friend and we went to see a comedy show on Crescent street.  The headliner, Andrew Searles, was pretty good.

The weekend was a blur.  I didn’t do much.  I’m super chill now and hope that vibe stays with me as I open the fifty million emails waiting for me.

Have a good Monday, all.

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Empty Nest and the Single Parent

I guess I should just come right out and say it.  I feel very….lonely. For so many years my time has been occupied with the care and worry over the prodigal.  It’s not the first time he has moved out, so I should be used to this by now.  It’s just that there are only so many times I can press on the reset button of this nest.

What is the reasonable amount of contact a parent can expect from their adult children?  I have no idea.

Do I want to become one of those mothers that becomes needy and clingy?  Of course not.  I don’t ever want to be a burden.

If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you know by now that my relationship with my son has not been an easy one.  My heart swells with love for him.  It has been just me and him since he was a little tot of two years of age.

As much as my heart swells with love, it also has broken many times at the hurtful words that he has thrown at me.  Ours is a complicated situation.

Part of me is so happy for him that he has moved in to his very own apartment.  The other part of me is a little worried; I have concerns that he may have bit off more than he can chew with the new-ish girlfriend and her little son.

I am a little disappointed and confused at the moment.  His moods are so up and down, at least with me.  We saw each other at a family funeral on Saturday and all seemed fine.  Then Sunday rolled around and he was in a strange mood.

I guess I’m having a bit of a pity party.  The empty nest is leaving me feeling like nobody needs me anymore.  Like I have been forgotten.

When I tried explaining to a friend that I’m having a hard time adjusting, she made light of it, saying I should be rejoicing.  I have my place to myself and no longer have to deal with the prodigal’s mood swings.

Spoken like a typical non parent.  Its so frustrating.  Nobody seems to understand how difficult an empty nest is to a single parent.  I don’t have a spouse to turn to and to dote one or just get to know all over again.

I’ve been watching countless videos and reading on the psychological effect of the empty nest.  There is a little bit of comfort there to know I’m not the only one who goes through this.

Keeping my mind busy seems to help.  I’ve picked up my guitar this past week more than I have since I bought it a couple years ago.  There’s an app called Yousician that I have discovered and I guess that will keep me occupied on the evenings that I am at home.

This is really hard.  If my son were of even keeled temperament, I’d feel fully secure and relaxed that he is just busy, discovering his new life.  With him though, I never know if radio silence is really a form of passive aggression or not.  As much as I love him, this dance has been exhausting.

I’d love to hear from other empty nesters.  How did/are you dealing with this?  Did you have a hard time adjusting?

Happy Thursday all.