Hi there. Remember me? I’m the one who said she would weigh in every Monday and stick to it until the weight came off. Well…it’s been about two weeks since my last post. Every day that went by that I did not step on the scale and write about it made me feel as guilty as an altar boy missing confession. Is that even a thing? I don’t know.
Here’s the thing. I’m hungry. For change. My work life has gotten so monotonous and boring that I just don’t have much energy for anything. All I seem to do is sit all day behind a computer screen and then commute for almost an hour to get home. Thanks very much, previous mayoral administration for all the hellish construction EVERYWHERE in the city. Then I get home, attempt to make a healthy meal, but lately that has consisted of either cereal or crackers with peanut butter and cheese.
I have grand plans for my evenings; reading, writing, journaling, sketching, walks by the river. You know what happens? I end up falling asleep on the sofa in front of the tv. Yes, the two seater sofa I purchased because I knew that if I bought a three seater or sectional, I’d just use it as a second bed in the evening. Proof that I can fall asleep just about anywhere.
Lately I’ve had cravings. No food cravings, but soul cravings. Everyday I sit behind that desk I think “what the fuck am I even doing here”. I know I shouldn’t think that way. I am blessed to have this job, really. It pays well. The benefits are really good. I have a pension plan. People are cool. Nobody constantly hovering over my shoulder.
It’s just not fulfilling. I work at a contract research organization. We help big pharma conduct clinical trials. We always have this mission statement thrown in our faces about the difference we are making in patients’ lives. Honestly, I’m not feeling it. When you work for a corporation that is huge, all you seem to really end up caring about is the bottom line.
Enter a new opportunity. I was contacted a couple weeks ago by a former colleague for a position available at the company he works for. It’s smaller, it’s a biotech, it’s risky, but honestly, I can already see myself working there.
They work with rare diseases and because of that their patient population is smaller. This allows us to really know everything that goes on in a study and experience the ups and downs as we follow patient progression.
I have had three interviews so far and have a fourth on Friday. If I get this, it will be a huge change. I’ve been with my current company for 11 years and there is a certainty and stability there. I could easily stay there until I retire.
The allure of this new place is all the unknowns and the excitement of a start up. Plus, it’s downtown. The energy there is off the charts. I so miss that vibe. If I’m offered a decent package, I think I can’t say no. I would feel like a big fat chicken for not taking a chance. I truly believe that when opportunity knocks on your door, you have to answer.
That’s it for today. Sorry for being away. I’ve missed writing. Don’t give up on me. I will be back to my Monday weigh-ins next week. Thanks for taking the time to read and have a great day.