Hey…Remember Me?

So yeaaahh…I’m back. Again. What’s been going on with me? Loads…and I’m not just referring to the amount of weight I have gained since the onset of this blasted pandemic.

I don’t even know where to begin. This post will just be a trailer to all that is swimming around in my head and clamoring for attention.

Dating – oh boy. I have sporadically dated on and off, even during the pandemic. I have come to a conclusion….I’m done. If ever a decent, nice looking, non socially retarded man walks into my life, I will swing those doors wide open and usher him in. Until then though, no thank you.

Home Renos. Yup, just one year in and my bathroom needs an overhaul due to….drumroll please. Mold. In. The. Walls. Fantastic.

Buying a piece of land. The pull to the country and away from the city is becoming increasingly attractive. I’m hooked on those tiny house shows and container living. It sounds worse than it is, trust me.

Getting my shit together. I seem to be all over the place most of the time. It’s really frustrating. I’m pretty sure I am undiagnosed ADHD. Being so easily distracted and always having several things on the go and nothing getting finished is driving me absolutely bonkers.

Random thought – I started this blog years ago in an attempt to document my weight loss journey. Since having done so, the exact opposite has happened. I have GAINED. Ugh. We might be going back to the office in the next couple months, and unless muu muus make a comeback, I’m screwed.

So many things to do, learn, experience, and not enough time to do them. I feel like a hamster on a wheel most days. Work sure has a way of slowing you down, am I right? Kidding. Kind of.

Changes in WordPress. I can’t navigate as easily as I used to. My fault for being away so long.

10 January 2021

Just some random thoughts on our lifestyles during the pandemic and now imposed curfew in my neck of the woods. As hard as I found it in the beginning, I have started getting used to being comfortable with limited contact and being at home most of the time.

Prior to Covid-19, I was always on the go and all over the place. It took its toll on my energy and on my pocket book. Truth be told, I had a hard time sitting still and just enjoying the comfort of my home.

I also took for granted the little things in life. That tends to happen when you’re caught up in the daily grind.

Take for example how I spent my Saturday. I got up early, picked up a friend from church and we went to the sanctuary to take down the Christmas tree and store the decorations for another year. It felt so good to be in the sanctuary, taking our time removing each ornament. I stood back and took a couple minutes to appreciate the rich jeweled tones. So pretty. I held one up and looked at it as if it was the first time I have ever seen a Christmas bauble.

Not long after that, I felt my blood sugar dropping. I didn’t have the time to have coffee or breakfast and had thrown a banana in my bag for a snack. Don’t ask me why, but I’m coo-coo for bananas lately. Ordinarily I would be gulping it down as I multi-tasked. Instead, I took the time to sit back, relax and eat slowly.

I know I might sound like a whack job, but hear me out. Have you ever taken the time to appreciate all the different varieties of fruits and vegetables we have access to. Isn’t it amazing how each one has its own distinct shape, color, smell, taste and texture? Mind blown.

Honestly, part of me is now embracing how the world has slowed down. It’s giving me the chance to literally stop and smell the roses (or bananas). Colors seem to just pop like never before. Tastes, smells, and sounds and smells have all intensified. I feel like my soul is being nourished like never before.

Look at me, getting all hippy-dippy. Who would have thunk it?

Hey Shawty It’s Your Birthday

Hola Peeps and Peep-ettes! This week I celebrated my 55th year on this earth. Wow, 55…where has the time gone?  I can hardly believe that number. I had to double check on my driver’s license to make sure I got it right.

On my birthday, I like to steal away and carve out some me-centered, selfish, indulgent time all to myself.  I don’t need to be surrounded by tons of people.  Even if I needed that, I highly doubt that many people would turn up.

I went shopping for a little birthday bling and then spent a couple days at the day spa.  When I told the receptionist at what my plans were, she felt sorry for me.  I was like….huh? Why?  She said that it’s not right to spend it alone.  Au contraire, my friend. I choose to celebrate me all on my own.  It feels amazing!

The way I look at it is this way; I have a couple of really good close friends who always send me birthday greetings or take me out for a meal.  I appreciate it but never take it as a given that people will spend their time with me just because my mother popped me out on this day 55 years ago.

So this is me, 55 years young.  This year will not soon be forgotten.  2020….bizarre, heartbreaking, depressing, frightening.  So much has happened.  I’ve lost a childhood friendship over a man she barely knows. My prodigal has been giving me a hard time. My mother has bailed on me to spend time with my half sister on my birthday. Don’t ask…

I’m still standing, a little battered, but I’m still here.  These are crazy times and I’m all of a sudden more sensitive than usual, I feel vulnerable for the first time in my life.  This all sucks, this 2020 year of the pandemic, doesn’t it?

So, this is what 55 looks like.  I’m ok with it so far.  Will I still be ok with what I see in the mirror on my 65th birthday?  Some days I wonder what the future holds for me. Am I ever going to meet someone or will I end my days alone?  What will I do when I finally retire?

55

I have to admit, getting older scares me.  There are days when I feel exhausted from the smallest effort.  Is it age?  Or is it just mental fatigue caused by this never ending pandemic?  I just want my life back.  I mean, I’m grateful for all I have and that I am still working, but I miss people.  I miss the freedom we all took for granted not too long ago.

Apparently the second wave is a sure thing.  I cannot imagine what that will look like this Winter.

All I can do is take it one day at a time and make the best of each day, right?