It’s Payday!

Oh happy happy day.  I get to go shopping.  Well, first I have to be a responsible adult and pay some bills, put money aside for rent and my regular contributions towards my investments…but what ever is left is ALL MINE!

I have to set goals though or else I will be looking at a bunch of stuff that I can’t believe I bought in a couple months down the road.

Tonight’s shopping jaunt will not be all that exciting.  I saw a pair of sandals I liked and will go claim ownership today. Well, now I’ve probably jinxed myself and they won’t have my size.

I need “lady items”. You know, over the shoulder boulder holders. That’s not a very elegant way to describe the girls, but I find it funny.  Why am I even telling you this?  It’s not like I’m going to be posting pics of that for goodness sakes. Ah, now I understand why…no coffee yet.  That equals to no filter in this joint.

Have a great Thursday all.  Remember, one more day and c’est le weekend!

 

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I’ve Got Issues

For real. It has taken some time but I have realized that I have a bit of an obsessive personality.  This came about as I have been spending a lot of time streamlining, well, just about everything really.

Example – Youtube channels.  Do you know how many channels I have subscribed to?  Take a guess. One hundred and twenty nine.  Yes, you read that right..129.

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Do you know how many I actually watch on the regular? Zero.

So, I get all these annoying pings telling me a new video has been uploaded to one of my subscriptions, but I never actually get around to it, or when I do, I’m overwhelmed and spend way too much time online.  Can we all collectively say “waste of time”?

Same thing with nail polish. I have so many bottles yet my nails are rarely painted. Each time I got to the drug store I saunter by the lovely shiny bottles of liquid happiness and I just can’t help myself.  Can we collectively say “waste of money”?

Man, I think my son is right.  I think I might be a little ADHD.  Or a lot, depending on how much time you want to spend in my head. I wouldn’t advise it though…it’s a mess in there.

Knowing what ails a person is the first step in fixing it.  I have just spent an hour unsubscribing to channels I never watch.  Next step is to pick one channel and slowly work my way through it to see if I even give a rat’s ass about what they are going on about. Sounds doable.

As for my nail polish addiction, I have put all the bottles in a box and have selected two. These two have to be used until the bottles are empty before I can take out another bottle. They are sitting on my desk as a daily reminder.  If they could speak, they would say something along the lines of “Yo, doofus.  Remember us?  You just haaaaad to take us home.  How about you slide a fresh coat of us on those non existent, chewed up fingernails of yours? Huh?”

Baby steps, folks, baby steps.

 

Ms. Niceguy Be Gone

We all know that saying “Nice guys finish last”.  Well, not only do they finish last, they also almost end up cleaning shit off the floor. I apologize for how vulgar this sound, but I can promise you there’s a legit reason for it. Let me explain.

A couple months ago, my landlady had mentioned she and her husband (a.k.a. Lieutenant Doofus) were planning a cruise for their anniversary or his birthday or something.

I asked who would be taking care of George, their cat.  She said a mutual acquaintance, who lives a couple blocks away and does not drive, would be doing that.  My Superman cape, which was safely tucked away in my newly purged wardrobe, sprang to life.  Why, that’s silly, I live right upstairs. I can do it! All the while singing in my head “here I come to save the daaaaaay!” She looked uncertain. Hmmm..weird. Whatever. Now I understand why, though.

Friday afternoon I received an email message from her.  Here it is, verbatim. Freak out factor kicked in for me at the end of the 5th paragraph.

Hi Chrissie,
 
You had offered to take care of George while we are away on vacation.  I thought I would explain just how “special” George is and then you can think about it and let me know if you really want to care for him or not!
 
He needs one pill per day.  It is a small white pill, that we crush up in his food.  We put it in a small amount of wet food, wait for him to eat it, so that we know that he got the full dosage, and then give him a larger portion of wet food. 
 
He doesn’t eat wet cat food, he eats dry cat food and he eats: canned tuna, flakes of ham, flakes of turkey and flakes of chicken or sardines or other canned fish.
 
He drinks regular tap water, about the only “regular” thing he does.
 
He poops on the floor – he pees in the box but poops on the floor.  Then I sprinkle some cat litter on it and scrape it off the floor the next day.
 
There is only one toy that he likes to play with and he does that near his scratching post because he has trouble running and walking.
 
If you want to pet him, pet only the top of his head.  His back is extremely sensitive and it could trigger scratching and urinating.
 
He will tell you that he needs to go outside, but he doesn’t, you can just ignore that.
 
We would be gone from June 22nd to  July 6th.
 
Think about it and let me know if you are still interested.  If not, I will find someone else.
 
thanks so much,
I am NOT making this up.  Honestly, I kind of stopped reading after “scrape it off the floor the next day.
Wow. Just. Wow.  This is the most fucked up thing I have ever heard of.  Oh, did I mention she once referred to George as “diarrhea cat” because of the medication he takes for feline HIV?
Do I look insane?  Your house must smell just lovely.  A hard mo-fo pass on this one, lady.  I respectfully declined.  Said his “needs” were greater than what my schedule allowed.
What I really wanted to write though was something along these lines:
Dear _,
I regret to inform you that I am unable to follow through on my previous offer as I have just learned that I am highly allergic to filth and all manner of nutty behavior.  Also, I refuse to enable your cat’s disgusting routine.  I hate to tell you, but he kind of sounds like an asshole.
Love, Chrissie.
PS – If I ever offer to help in any way, shape or form ever again, kindly ignore me. I have the disease to please and clearly you have no idea what constitutes a favor vs blackmail material. It’s best we don’t risk it. Am I right??
So, that was a big fat lesson learned for me.  Stop being so nice and mind my freaking business!
Have a great Sunday, all.

A Little Retail Therapy For Fattie

Hey Peeps, Meeps and Schmeeps. It is FRIDAY. Oh happy happy day.  I hope you have something fun planned for your weekends.

So, I  was in the mood for a little retail therapy yesterday.  Truth be told, I took a look at my wardrobe and there’s stuff in there from over 10 years ago. I was starting to look a little dated and who are we kidding….most of the items simply do not fit anymore. Sigh….

That being said, I’m doing a major overhaul.  For years I’ve been saying that I refuse to buy bigger clothing and that I should just lose the weight. Ya, right. How’s that working out for me? It’s not, but you already know that by the non progression on my Monday morning weigh-ins.

I figured just because a girl is a little thick is no reason not to look nice. Am I right? By the way, the same applies for the gentlemen that might be reading.

For the past couple weeks I have devoted a little time to some shopping.  Even if it’s just window shopping.  You see, I abhor shopping for clothes just about as much as I do grocery shopping.  I realized that my mode of shopping only four times a year was the reason my wardrobe looks like crap.  Too many impulse buys.  Not enough time browsing, feeling the fabric, trying on different sizes, etc.

Here’s the fruits of my labor from last night.  (P.S. I HATE plastic hangers!) I’m pretty happy with it. As much as I love colour, I need to stick to neutrals. It’s just easier to mix and match. I’m a little embarrassed at some if my purchases over the years.

 

Here’s the result of the purge.  That goodwill drop off centre and I are practically on a first name basis.  I think I drop off something every week.

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Folks, I just want to take a moment to do a shameless plug on the benefits of donating stuff you no longer need, use, like, want.  It can really make a person’s day to find a little something at a goodwill store.  It’s affordable and most importantly, we are not contributing to landfills. Good deed for the day. Check.

Here is my closet of shame…..items I really love and can’t bare to part with but just don’t fit. I’m keeping these for a while longer in the hopes that one day over the rainbow….

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Have a great weekend all. Now that my ankle has healed from the sprain I suffered a couple months ago, I’m starting Running Room again this coming Sunday.

Have a fantastic weekend, see you Monday morning!

Moving Day!

What a crazy couple days this has been.  The prodigal spoke with his new landlord last week to see if he could move in prior to 01 June.  The answer was…..YES! He explained what has been going on at the apartment with the live in ex and this man was so sympathetic, he said he would not charge him for the month of May.

Seriously, he has just reinstated my faith in humanity.  There are some good people still out there.

So, last week was a blur, really.  All I know is I don’t think I had a moment to myself between work and helping him out and driving back and forth.

Poppa bear and I and a buddy of the prodigal helped him this weekend and he is all moved in.

While he was finishing (more like starting) his packing, I was the first one in the place at 7:30 a.m. on Saturday.  The furniture store gave a delivery time of between 8:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. for his new bed.  Sigh…of course.

As per usual, I walked in there and freaked out.  I panicked..where the hell was this furniture going to go.  It’s so small.  I feel claustrophobic!  Did he make a mistake choosing this place? OMG OMG OMG! I had to remind myself this is a recurring theme with me and once I calmed down, I was able to exhale and reboot the ole noggin. Everything will be fine.

When everything was in and placed….we didn’t want to leave! It’s just that cute.  After he returned the truck to u-haul, we went out for supper at Scores.  This is the first time we’ve done that as a family in 24 years.  (I divorced poppa bear when the prodigal was 2 years of age – he is now 26).

It was nice, really.  There was no uncomfortable silences, no awkward moments.  We were just a family, although broken, enjoying a meal and having some laughs. We went back to the bachelor digs and hung around some more.  I’m glad we were able to do that for our son.  It was a learning experience for me, too.  I realized that my ex has a shitload of quirks. Were they always there but I never noticed?  Ah, food for another post!

In the meantime, I took a couple of “before” pics while I was waiting for the mattress to be delivered.  The place still needs to be painted.  Once that is done, I will show more pics.

Oh, happy belated Mother’s day to all the mommies out there!

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Monday Weigh-in

Good morning peeps!  Thanks for checking in and keeping me accountable.  First, I apologize for the state of my tootsies.  I need to get myself a pedi STAT.

When I got on the scale this morning, it was with great trepidation.  I was bracing myself for disappointment but lo and behold, the numbers actually went down.  My mobile was still charging so I couldn’t take a pic right away, so the numbers were a little lower.

Pre-breakfast, my weight was 187.4. Oh thank you sweet baby Jesus! Looks like the ole fat cells are finally starting to leave. Or something like . In any case, the numbers moved in the direction I want and I’ll take it.

I know, I know, those of you who are younger, not female, and not in menopause might think I’m nuts for being over the moon over this.  I don’t care. I said I would keep doing this until I reach my goal weight of 150.

What a great way to start my Monday! Have a fantastic day, all.

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This is after my breakfast. When I got on this morning it was 187.4.

 

 

The Crazy Train Has Left The Station

Never a dull moment around here, folks. Well, that’s not true.  It’s mostly peaceful and at times even a little mundane, peppered with WTF here and there.

Where do I even begin?  Ah yes, here.  The prodigal is now a couple weeks away from moving in to his bachelor digs.  The live-in ex girlfriend has officially bought what looks to be a one way ticket to crazy town.

Apparently, the past two weeks have been like poking a cobra with a stick at casa heartbreak hotel. When he tries to cook himself a meal after a day at work, she tells him he’s not allowed to use “her” stove.  If he cooks anyway, she will take his meal and either throw it in the garbage or at him.

The fridge is off limits, too..because…it’s hers.  Whatever food he has bought for himself ends up on the counter or in the garbage can. Perfectly normal behavior. Said nobody. Ever.

The broom…..well, how dare he sweep the floor with HER broom?!  I’m guessing it’s her only mode of transportation lately, so best be careful with it.

It all came to a head the other night.  I have told him time and time again not to engage her when she starts taking verbal jabs at him.  She’s waiting for a reaction and in the age of the Me Too movement, odds are not in his favor.

She took one poke too much at him and he let her have it…verbally.  I will not repeat what was said.  Just trust me when I say she went completely ape-shit crazy unhinged. So much so that she thought hitting him would be a good move.  Wrong.

The police escorted her out.  When they asked him if he wanted to press charges, he said no.  Why?  She has a little four year old boy and was taking him into consideration (don’t worry he was not there.  She has pawned him off to her 85 year old grandmother again) So off she went.  Not allowed to return for 24-hours.

Folks, no good deed goes unpunished.  When my son got home from work the next day, she had taken all the pots and pans, the microwave, the toaster, the kettle, dishes, spice rack (huh?) and removed all four burners from the stove and removed the grills from inside the oven. Then she put a combination pad lock on her bedroom door (which can be unscrewed very easily from the door frame on the OUTSIDE of the door. I never said she was smart). It looks like her mother was there to help, too. The family that acts hateful together stays together?  I don’t know….I have no words.

She seems to come and go when he is at work, but so far, they have not been under the same roof at the same time since last week. Good.  I’m hoping she stays away until he moves. Poppa bear and I will feel relieved when that day comes.

I know break ups can bring out the worst in people.  This though….I don’t know what to say.  Lesson learned for the lad.  Take your time with the next person who walks into your life my boy.

PS, I guess she has been walking or taking Uber to get back and forth, because she left the broom behind. Ha!

WITCH