On The Tenth Day Of Christmas

It’s a good thing there are only two days left…I’m running out of pics!

I love decorating Christmas trees and I’ve gotten pretty good at it if I do say so myself. Whatever did we do before Pinterest and YouTube?

Answer: we put together these types of hot messes.  I don’t recall having  giant spiders  at the house, yet the trees look like they are wrapped in spider webbing.

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Have a good night all!

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On The Ninth Day Of Christmas

Growing up, I always had a pet at the house. Daisy was a companion to me and I loved that dopey mutt with all my heart. I mean, just look at these pics. Funny.

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Daisy doing her best Cujo impersonation.

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Most photogenic dog ever.

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Puppy love!

Good night all!

On The Sixth Day Of Christmas

Meet the family. I tried to protect you from this, but I figure now is as good a time as any. This is but a small sampling of one side of my clan.

These were happier days when my folks were still married and actually seemed to like one another.

These holiday get together were loud. It was goofy. It was family.

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Where do I even begin…..

My cousin and I were ga-ga over our older cousin’s boyfriend. Just look at the cow eyes my cuz is giving him. 

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I saw him first! Bitch!

Here is a pic of me and grandma Jessie. Dad felt a photo op brewing right in the throes of sugar fueled fun.

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Say cheese……

Have a great evening folks!

 

 

On The Fifth Day Of Christmas

Ok so the jig was up the moment I saw “Santa” walk in. I knew it was my uncle Russel.

The little girl sitting on my mom’s lap is his daughter. If you think she looks scared, you would be correct. She did not appreciate the jolly man with the beard at all.

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Here’s what the camera did not capture: complete screaming like a banshee meltdown, hands flapping in an attempt to either swat him away or take out an eye.

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Melt down in 3..2..1..

I, on the other hand, was happy with my drowsy doll,  regardless of the bogus Santa situation. Mom did not raise any fools. Take the gift and run like the wind, kid.

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Question: why is my dress so short and who is the groovy Beatles wanna be kid in back of me??

Have an awesome Friday, all!

Lines

They get blurred, we read between them, they get drawn in the sand, we’re warned not to cross them, some get toed, some are white, we get to the back of them and some start “here”. Whichever one you chose, they can provide fantastic fodder for a post.

My work colleague/friend and I were standing in one at Starbucks (blergh – prefer Second Cup) and she turned to me and said “Oh man, remember that guy in line at Michael’s”.

How could I forget?  Let me regale you with this story.  We were at Michael’s one day on our lunch hour.  We poked around to get the items we each needed and then proceeded to the check out together.  It was between 12-1 pm, so naturally, they did not have many cashiers on the floor. They had one, to be exact.

We had been in line for about 10 minutes and going nowhere fast.  Why?  Because somebody thought it was a good idea to start arguing with the only cashier on the floor at the busiest time of the day.  Apparently there was some promotion going on where if you completed a survey online, you were entitled to an additional discount.

Apparently this irate shopper did not read the fine print.  I still have no clue what that was, but I do know that he, (yes, he) thought it was a big enough deal to argue non stop about it and kept looking at the ever growing line of irate busy women just wanting to pay for their items and get the frack out of dodge.

I’m all about a good deal and holding merchants accountable, but for the love of God, dude, all you are buying is ONE piece of freaking felt!!  I will gladly pay for it for you if you’ll just shut up and leave.

He kept caterwauling the same sentence and throwing it our way “oh, false advertising, false advertising”.  He acted as though we were going to rally behind him, shake our fists in the air and take out the cashier in his quest to be right and for victory over big bad Michael’s craft store.

Let me tell you something, he has no idea how lucky he was to have gotten out of there in one piece.  You want to piss off a hoard of busy women trying to get odds and ends done on their lunch hour, keep doing what you do, cupcake.  We will turn on you. Fast.

At one point I turned to my friend and said  “You know what else is false advertising?  That this moron calls himself a man while arguing with a young girl over a lousy piece of felt over a bill that comes out to a total of about $2 and some change.  I’m sure I have an extra set of balls in my purse somewhere to lend him…..what a pussy”.

The women behind me heard that and next thing you know we were all sharing a quiet chuckle while enduring the wannabe freedom fighter of the craft store.

In the words of the late great John Pinette…..

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The manager came over and decided to give him the discount just to shut him up and get him the frack out of dodge before the angry mob of women lost their cool. And by angry mob, I mean “me”.

Takes all kinds, folks.  So today I find myself thinking of him.  I wonder what he made with that one piece of felt? Must have been awfully important to risk life and limb.

Finish What You Started

It’s time I said it out loud. I’m one of those people that gets all excited about something, signs up, buys materials, researches, etc….and then before I know it, I have a plethora of unfinished projects on my hands and I’m moving on to the next one.

My prodigal has mentioned a couple times now that he thinks I also have ADHD (he was diagnosed last year).  He’s probably right. When I think of it, it stresses me and also makes me feel incredibly guilty.  I try to come up with an answer as to why I keep doing this.  The only thing I have come up with is lack of discipline and it’s time I address it and work on it.

I do think I’m making some progress though.  Ten weeks ago I signed up for the Running Room’s Learn to Run clinic.  I actually stuck it out to the very end.  Ok, Sundays were a little dodgy because I am not a morning person.

I don’t sleep in late, it’s just the actual getting there that is a problem. If you are expecting me to be somewhere before 8:00 am and that somewhere is not my kitchen, sipping hot tea, prepare to be disappointed.

If YOU need to be somewhere at such an ungodly hour and are counting on me to get you there…you’re going to be late and it’s been nice knowing you.  For reals, ya’ll.  You need to set the bar much lower if we are to remain friends.

There’s this rebellious streak in me that waits until the very last minute.  Seriously, that type of stress really is horrible and I berate myself the entire time as I’m driving like a bat out of hell to get to my destination.

You should see my Pinterest boards.  Chock full of recipes I’ve just GOT to try.  If I count last night’s dinner, my total of actually tested meals is….2.  It’s a start though, right? Right?

Then there’s the not putting things back right away deal.  It takes literally seconds to put things away once done.  I never realized how bad I am at that.  At the end of the day I will take a look around and think “who did this?!!” Since I live alone, the answer is always “me”.

This past week I have been diligent in putting things away, washing a dish or cup right away after meals and drying them instead of leaving them in the dish-rack.  It’s an eyesore to either wake up or come home to dishes just sitting there. Verdict? A feeling of organization and also gives me great satisfaction to walk into a kitchen where there’s a place for everything and everything in it’s place.

This all might seem like small potatoes, but when your mind is constantly whirring in thoughts and projects, it’s easy to let these little things slide and before long, it all becomes too much and is overwhelming.

The need to organize is starting to be a bit of an obsession for me now that Fall has arrived and the comfort of nesting settles in. I’m doing my best to work with what I already have.  No need to bring more “stuff” in here.

Here’s what I made the other night while catching up on my PVR’d shows (that alone is worthy of its own post – I have 324 recorded shows/movies just waiting for me to show them some love!)

Fall wreath at top of stairwell.  Undecorated wreath was sitting in my closet for two years. Needs a little something though. Pine cones or ribbons maybe?

Little Pacino is always ready to lend a hand (or paw)

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My little shadow, always eager to jump in – literally

If this wreath could talk, it would probably say something along the lines of “bitch, it is about time you took me out.  Did you expect me to decorate myself?!”

Stay tuned for more self loathing and organization projects!