First order of business, Merry Christmas to you all. I hope you had a wonderful time with family friends.
To be perfectly honest with you, Christmas for me this year was a bit of a let down. In my head, the holidays are such a pleasant time of year. In reality though, my mom does stuff that drives me batshit crazy and adds to my stress. Every. Time. I wish she was a bit more ”normal”.
It all started with an unwelcomed guest and it’s been kind of downhill from there.
For starters, I was supposed to pick my mom up at her place early on the 24th. I had no problem doing so. In order to save time, I labored over my home-made tourtiere (which takes about 2 hours to make) on the evening of the 23rd.
Ring Ring! Mom calls, change of plans, her brother is going to drive her here. They live in the same building. Wonderful! Right? Wrong. PS – it never fails, whenever I have a plan to do something a certain way, she always comes up with an alternate plan, just for shits ‘n giggles.
Instead of taking my time to finish cleaning my apartment and bake sugar cookies for some little ones at church, I ended up playing “find the lost senior citizens” on the island of Montreal.
Once found, I invited my uncle up for a coffee. What am I gonna do? Thanks, get out of here? That would be rude. So, an hour later, he left. He had good intentions, but I had no idea he had no GPS and zero clue how to get here. There is so much construction and detours lately, it’s not surprising he got lost.
So then, I had to prepare my chicken (and it’s a good thing I did, keep reading). Mom has a habit of needing to be EXACTLY where I am trying to cook. Oh, now she’s hungry. Now she’s thirsty. Can she help? Now she will do the dishes. So, that slowed me down some more.
Needless to say, sugar cookies were not baked. I had to text my friend and apologize and gave her a rundown of my morning.
I headed off to church for 4pm, alone, because my family still does not get how important it is to me that they show up. They both act like they are being led to slaughter and then run out of the place like bats out of hell.
During sermons, mom picks at her nails, looks around like she’s lost, makes deep sighing noises, yawns, keeps checking her watch, asks me when it is going to end, etc. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise that they did not come. It still hurts though.
I came home after service and as we are sitting in the living room, waiting for the tourtiere and roast chicken to finish cooking, it happened. Angus McKitten casually strolled into the living room with….the mouse. He plopped it in the middle of the room and sat there looking at us as if to say “voila!”
The mouse was injured, but alive and very disoriented. We did not have the heart to kill it, so instead, we put it in a little box with a piece of bread and some fabric to keep it warm. We walked to the park and placed the box, with the top slightly opened on top of a trash can. It seemed like the least cruel thing to do.
When we got back, mom was itching to get dinner on the table. If dinner is not served at 5pm, she starts acting squirrel-y. As per usual, she has to take charge. She just could not wait for me to mash the potatoes, so decided she was going to do it. I had placed my tourtiere on the cutting board to cool off.
Next thing you know, we hear “plop” and my mother screams from the kitchen that she dropped the tourtiere on the floor. How did this happen? Well, she didn’t want to mash the potatoes directly on the counter (what’s the difference?), and decided she was going to move my touriere off of the cutting board. Then she upended the whole fucking thing on the floor. Since it was still very hot, it was a big un-salvageable puddle. Nice.
I can’t tell you how many times she has stolen my thunder in an act of silliness or poor judgement. There are days that I wonder if she is doing it on purpose.
I kept my cool, walked over to look at the damage, and then walked away and sat in the living room. I let the two of them clean it up; I was done. It was a very uncomfortable dinner. Thank God I defrosted a chicken. We tried to make light of the situation by cracking jokes, but she was getting mad at us. Go figure.
The next day was just mom and me. Towards the end of the day she started doing what she usually does; knit-pick and “make suggestions” on how I should do everything. I was getting fed up and at one point she says to me “Oh, nothing I do is every right by you”.
Pardon my French, but are you fucking kidding me right now?!? Normally I would let that slide, but enough’s enough. I reminded her that I think I’ve been pretty patient this weekend, all things considered, and that comments like that were not welcomed.
Honestly, I don’t know why we continue this frustrating charade year after year. When I go to her house, she acts normal. When she comes here, she does this type of stupid shit.
This morning was a real doozie, but stay tuned. I will post more tomorrow. There is only so much I can write as re-telling this has exhausted me.
So, as much as I hate to admit it, my Christmas really sucked this year.
Hope yours was better!