Aaah Facebook. What can I say about this snooper’s paradise that hasn’t already been said? We all love it and hate it at the same time.
Sure, it has its good points. Wishing someone a happy birthday, happy anniversary, announcing the birth of a child, the passing of a loved one, sharing pics of our newest furry addition to the family, sharing recipes, positing holiday pics. It’s all butterflies and rainbows, right?
Every rose, alas, has it’s thorns. Here’s the stuff that bugs the ever lovin’ crap out of me on Facebook.
Stay at home moms that post one million times a day. It’s endearing that your little prodigy has learned to stuff peas up his nose, but you’re killing my news feed. Besides, shouldn’t you be paying attention to your kid?
New romances. Watching two grown adults fuss and coo all over social media is nauseating. It also smacks disingenuous. Keep that stuff for yourselves, we aren’t in high school anymore and it makes it hard to take you seriously.
The post break up verbal diarrhea. I know you’re in pain and he/she probably was a world class arsehole. In a couple months though, you’re going to read your posts and realize you sounded a little unhinged and very Glenn Close-ish a la Fatal Attraction.
Last but not least, those stupid fracking chain letter type messages. I just got one last night. Here it is:
F*ck sakes. Anybody who knows me well would know better than to send me this corny crap. So now the pressure is on. If I ignore it, I will out myself as the biggest a-hole on the planet.
You know what the funniest thing about this chain letter is? The person who sent it to me spoke to me a total of two times in the past twelve months. For real. How does that make me a close friend?
To me, sending something like this is the equivalent of saying “I’m a big insecure wuss and I need to know how many people like me”. Want to know if people like you? Talk to them. Spend time with them. Don’t send this cringe worthy crap and expect an honest response.
I’d much prefer getting something like this
This I can relate to. It’s real. It appeals to my sarcastic, dry sense of humour.
Sending me a virtual rose signals two things;
1 – you’re trying to get in my pants (I can barely fit in there myself let alone fit someone else in there, so sooorrry, not gonna happen)
2 – you have no clue who I am. (have we even actually met?)
We are grown ass women. Let’s get real here, shall we?
I know I sound cynical, maybe I am . Would you in real up close and personal face to face time just bring me a rose for no reason? I didn’t think so.
Happy Thursday, all!