Empty Nest and the Single Parent

I guess I should just come right out and say it.  I feel very….lonely. For so many years my time has been occupied with the care and worry over the prodigal.  It’s not the first time he has moved out, so I should be used to this by now.  It’s just that there are only so many times I can press on the reset button of this nest.

What is the reasonable amount of contact a parent can expect from their adult children?  I have no idea.

Do I want to become one of those mothers that becomes needy and clingy?  Of course not.  I don’t ever want to be a burden.

If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you know by now that my relationship with my son has not been an easy one.  My heart swells with love for him.  It has been just me and him since he was a little tot of two years of age.

As much as my heart swells with love, it also has broken many times at the hurtful words that he has thrown at me.  Ours is a complicated situation.

Part of me is so happy for him that he has moved in to his very own apartment.  The other part of me is a little worried; I have concerns that he may have bit off more than he can chew with the new-ish girlfriend and her little son.

I am a little disappointed and confused at the moment.  His moods are so up and down, at least with me.  We saw each other at a family funeral on Saturday and all seemed fine.  Then Sunday rolled around and he was in a strange mood.

I guess I’m having a bit of a pity party.  The empty nest is leaving me feeling like nobody needs me anymore.  Like I have been forgotten.

When I tried explaining to a friend that I’m having a hard time adjusting, she made light of it, saying I should be rejoicing.  I have my place to myself and no longer have to deal with the prodigal’s mood swings.

Spoken like a typical non parent.  Its so frustrating.  Nobody seems to understand how difficult an empty nest is to a single parent.  I don’t have a spouse to turn to and to dote one or just get to know all over again.

I’ve been watching countless videos and reading on the psychological effect of the empty nest.  There is a little bit of comfort there to know I’m not the only one who goes through this.

Keeping my mind busy seems to help.  I’ve picked up my guitar this past week more than I have since I bought it a couple years ago.  There’s an app called Yousician that I have discovered and I guess that will keep me occupied on the evenings that I am at home.

This is really hard.  If my son were of even keeled temperament, I’d feel fully secure and relaxed that he is just busy, discovering his new life.  With him though, I never know if radio silence is really a form of passive aggression or not.  As much as I love him, this dance has been exhausting.

I’d love to hear from other empty nesters.  How did/are you dealing with this?  Did you have a hard time adjusting?

Happy Thursday all.

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2 thoughts on “Empty Nest and the Single Parent

  1. Hi! I do not have any kids yet so I am the last person to give advice specific to your situation. But what I can tell you is that when times have been rough or on days I have felt alone, leaning on God has always gotten me through. Jesus is always there for you! I will pray for you and I hope things start looking up!

    Like

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