The One That Got Away

I tried to warn her.  She wouldn’t listen.  I’ve been doing this for years and know my stuff.  You MUST have a good support system.  She insisted on doing it her way.  So far it had worked just fine for her.  Until last night.

As you know, Monday nights are all about aquafitness.  That shit’s the bomb, y’all.  The work out is amazing and zero impact on knees and ankles and anything else that might ail you.  I can’t tell you how many times my friend and I have said “I don’t think this is working” only to text each other the following morning with “OMG I’m sore all over!”.

When we signed up, we both decided to go shopping for swimwear.  I already had one suit, but like to have a variety; nice workout gear makes it more fun somehow.

My friend had a list of questions pre-registration.  She had never taken an aquafit class before and wanted to know what she needed.  I told her, above all else, get yourself a bathing suit with good support.  The motion in the ocean is not kind to gals who are well endowed.

Gone are the days of boob flattening, torso cutting uncomfortable Speedo swimwear.  So, the world is your oyster.  Take a day, go out, try some on, etc.  Did she listen? Nope.  She said she would just wear her “sexy” bathing suit.  Okaaaay…..

She just had a baby not long ago. and all honesty, looks pretty good.  She was rocking her swimsuit with confidence.  With each class, her cleavage was dangerously buoyant, but stayed in place.  To each her own, I guess.

Then it happened….as we were jumping up and down, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Nipplegate 2017 .  We were quite the sight; she was unknowingly flashing everyone and smiling and I was trying to stay cool and signal to her that OH MY GOD YOU ARE FLASHING EVERYONE AND NOW I CAN’T UNSEE WHAT I’VE SEEN.   Awkward.

As I was frantically pointing at my chest with a deer caught in the headlight look, she just kept laughing; she had no freaking clue what was going down.  I floated over to her and said “Dude, you’re hanging out of your suit”.  More awkwardness.

We finished up and didn’t say a word.  What happens at aquafit stays at aquafit.



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