Love Is In The Air – Or Not

Ok, so I thought I’d give you a little update on my three days in status on a dating site.

Competition out here is fierce to begin with.  Add to that mix the fact that I’m no longer a 20 something, and what ensues is an exercise in patience, not taking anything personal and of course a little bit of weird and wacky.

As mentioned in a post earlier this week, I’m back in the saddle and trying to meet someone.  I’ve been doing my homework and reading up on how to put together an interesting profile and applying the hints and tips suggested.  Why not?  If I labor over a post on my blog for other people’s enjoyment, shouldn’t I do the same for my dating profile?  Marketing is marketing, regardless of the venue.

One “expert” suggested that if you are past a certain age (kind of like an old piece of fruit?  No longer ripe?) don’t sit around and wait for someone else to reach out.  If you see something you like, make the first move.

So I did.  I made a comment on a dude’s hat, how it suited him and it was a nice pic.  He said thank you and then made his profile hidden.  Woah…..take it easy Monsieur Chapeau.

I had sent a couple winks and likes here and there.  Nothing.  Then it happened.  I got a couple of notices that other members gave some of my pics a thumbs up.  Yay!

I proceeded to log on to the site and those fellows were well into their 60’s and looked like 90 year old Elmer Fudd wannabees.  Boo!

So, yes, I felt a little down.  Started wondering if there is any hope for me at all (day 3 people…).  Then I got a notice that someone sent me an email.  Ooooh! How exciting!« prev | next »

25, xxxxxx, xxxxx, Canada

Seeking women 20 – 45

From: xxxxxxx / Received: May 24

Hey, how are you? You are absolutely stunning! How could I get a date with you?

I was thrilled…but then I noticed the age….25. Good grief, have you lost your mother?  Oh and he wants someone who has a car.  Maybe the bus doesn’t go all the way to the arcade?

So what the heck, I thought I’d have a bit of fun with this.  He might be legit, he might be a scam.  So I wrote back.

Hello, I guess you would just have to…ask 😉

Cue the crickets.   He’s been on all day and no reply back. LOL!

Then I got another email.  This one read:
You have a beautiful smile:)
Totally not my type, but made a deal with myself that I would talk to anyone who made the effort and reached out.  I’m new again to this and honestly have no big expectations other than to maybe meet people here and there for a quick coffee date and see what happens.  Here’s what I wrote (I did not want to give false hope or be rude by ignoring completely) :
Aaaw, thank you. Lovely travel pic. I’m guessing you were in Greece? Lucky you!
Cue the crickets part 2…..nothing.
The fun has just begun, my friends.  Buckle in, I think it’s going to be a bit of a bumpy ride.  Stay tuned.
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Sucker for Punishment?

The short and quick answer to that is “yes”.  So, after my little DIY furniture upcycling was completed on Saturday, I finally had a minute to sit down and enjoy the fruits of my labor.

It was hard work, turning a dark espresso stain dresser into a crisp, clean, white vision of beauty.

white dresser

 

I was pretty content, but then this funny feeling came over me.  This has happened a couple times now.  The only way I can express it is to say that it felt like something was missing.

I’ve been single for a while now and honestly, it never bothered me. I’ve always got some project on the go, or volunteering my time to kids at church, doing my thing on the decorating committee, or just spending time with friends and family.

I was sitting in my living room, admiring my surroundings.  A lot of thought and consideration went into every item in there; it took me months to find the perfect coffee table.

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In the quiet of my contentment, this thought ran through my head, clear as a bell:  “You know Chrissie, at some point you’re going to run out of projects and you’ll have to face the reality that it’s time you take care of matters of the heart before it’s too late”.

Woah….epiphany or what?  Merriam Webster offers this definition of that a-ha moment.

  • 3a (1) :  a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) :  an intuitive grasp of reality through something (such as an event) usually simple and striking (3) :  an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosureb :  a revealing scene or moment.

Oh, it was a revelation, all right.  I was/am dumbfounded.  The truth of why I’m always on the go just kind of snuck up on me. It is time that I focus my energy at meeting someone.  My tried and true excuses did their best to push their way to the surface.  “No! You’re not ready!” and “Wait until you reach your goal weight.  Then you can try.  You probably won’t be successful though.” and of course, the classic “Aren’t you getting a little long in the tooth for this?”

Here’s the thing, I realized that if I wait for the perfect time, it may never happen.  So, I’m back on the online dating wagon.   This time around though, I’m going about it like every other project in my life; with patience, reseach, thoughtfulness, effort and a positive attitude.  I won’t give up until I’m happy with the end results.

I believe in God’s perfect timing in all things.  Here’s what that looks like – it comes at a time when least expected, all pieces just kind of fall into place naturally, like it was meant to be.  Picture a combination lock if you will.  You know that feeling in your hands when you’re turning the dial, and you feel that tension in the wheel just before you hear the “click” and then your lock is open?  That feeling.

Having started this blog has been an incredible eye opener for me on so many levels.  My creativity is at an all time high.  I am feeling good about myself again.  Most importantly though is that I feel hopeful.  You know that feeling when you’re anticipating something good and it happens?  I wake up now every morning with that feeling.

So, like a butterfly, I’m a work in progress with lot of changes happening.  Can’t wait to see the end results!  Thanks so much for reading and supporting me.

 

 

 

Monday Weigh-In

Happy Monday, all!  So I stepped on the scale this morning and….I lost! Official weight: 182.8. Woot woot!  That’s more like it.

It’s a holiday weekend here and I spent most of it refinishing a dresser I just could not bear to part with.  It was very labor intensive, ate up most of my weekend, but now it is finished and I’m super happy with it.  Quality products are definitely worth it.  I’m sure I can get a few more years out of this dresser. It has such a nice clean, crisp look to it now.  There’s something about white furniture in a bedroom that is so soothing for me.

Gotta run, heading out to mom’s for a little visit.

 

Friday Night Solo

I don’t know about you, but I have mixed feelings about Friday nights.  On the one hand, it’s the end of the work week.  Hallelujah!  On the other hand, if you’re single, it’s a bit of a hard transition.

Once upon a time, when my son was little, Friday nights were all about picking up some McDonald’s and letting him pick out a movie at Blockbuster.   Then we would head home, chill, and make our plans for the weekend.

Pre-mommy days consisted of going out for supper, drinks, and getting my dance on with my girlfriends at one of the many hot spots in Montreal.  Boy, the mischief we would get into.  Good times.

Flash forward, one kid, one divorce, a couple of break ups and my life has changed significantly.  Some of the girls have married, some are now single and put more importance on finding a mate than cementing bonds that were forged long ago, and some have just become, well, boring.

Now that I don’t have anyone “needing” to be cared for, fed, loved, paid attention to, knock boots with, my time is my own.  Wow, what a feeling.  It’s time I really embraced this part of my life.

I had a super stressful week at work.  The project I asked to take on following the resignation of a colleague….is a real stinker.  Regretting every moment of having taking the initiative to take it on.

Not wanting to head home, but also not wanting to do anything too crazy, I head to the mall. I had a mother’s day gift certificate burning a hole in my pocket and decided to cash that baby in.

I never thought a trip to the mall could be so satisfying to all senses.  I luxuriated in all things pretty to sight, smell, touch, taste.  I came home happy, relaxed and satisfied.

My first stop was at Bath and Body Works.  Thank you, son, for the gift certificate!

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My Personal Mecca!

You guys….this place…can you say love? The colors, the scents, the displays.

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Really?! I’ll take a lifetime supply!!

Damage done, total cost $1.74.  Yep, you read correctly.  Don’t you just love gift certificates.

Next stop, a little snack.  Friday night is officially “I can eat whatever I want night”.  Naturally, I chose gelato.  This pretty little concoction is made up of a scoop each of lime, grapefuit and toasted coconut.  The perfect blend of tart, fresh and creamy.

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Yummy AND pretty!

The variety at this little shop were a feast for the eyes.  I did my best to behave though.

 

Finally, I sat and enjoyed my treat.  The Aldo boutique had a nice media display going on.  These guys are evil genius’.

This caught my eye.

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Which naturally led me to have a closer look at this…

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Seriously, how adorable are these?

So that was my Friday night solo in a nutshell.  All my senses were indulged and I got to walk around and burn some calories in the process.  Hey, who knows?  Maybe one day a handsome stranger will strike up a conversation and my Friday night solos will turn into a duet.

Happy Saturday, all!

5:30 a.m. and I’m…..running?!

Happy Friday all!  Let me be the first to say that I have no freaking idea what got into me this morning.  I first woke up at about 4:30 a.m. (thank you, kitty….I’ll get you back, just you wait).  Then I lied there, collected my thoughts, and snuggled in a little tighter beneath the duvet.

While my brain was enjoying warmth of the covers and the cool crisp air blowing though my window, the rest of me was up and pulling on my workout clothes and lacing up my shoes.

Wait…what?? My son looked at me like I was having a stroke.  “Uhm…going for a run?.. mom?”   And just like that, I was out there, pounding the pavement.  My body felt great, but the voice in my head was saying “What in the world are you doing to me, woman?” I could not believe I was out there, so early, doing this.

The great thing about this morning’s motivation – no pressure.  I just got up and did it.  I will not lie to you and say I’m a fantastic runner.  I hate it.  I have a hard time controlling my breathing, but I hear that comes with practice.  My goal today was just to get up, get out and do one lap around the block.  I ran, walked, ran.  I survived.  Let’s see what tomorrow brings!

So far this week I’ve done one aquafit class, one trip to the gym and one run.  Hopefully the scale will be kind to me Monday morning.  Stay tuned and have an awesome weekend!

Because I Can Be.

Remember that line from the movie Heathers?  I’m not proud of this, but I totally pulled a Heather the other day.  I don’t know what got into me.

It was directed at a friend of mine.  I love this gal, but she has zero empathy for anyone. I was going through a hard time with a family member and just needed to vent a little about it.  All I was looking for was a kind word of encouragement from her.

Instead of comfort from a friend, I got a barrage of questions and a call to action of drastic proportions.  Long story short, she made me feel very small and was stressing me.  I told her that I would just keep things to myself from now on, and apologized for burdening her with my trouble.

She started back peddling, saying that I could always talk to her about anything, any time.  Uhm…no, I really can’t.  When I thought about it a bit more, I realized that she never would ask follow up questions to see how things were working themselves out.

I guess it bugged me more than I realized because when she started telling me about the possibility of rekindling an old romance, I stepped up to the plate and swung away with all the “how this can never work” scenarios I could think up

Before I knew it, I was telling her things like reunion romances don’t work, especially long distance ones.  I went on to say that men who call you out of the blue after a certain age are just looking for someone to take care of them.   In short, I totally deflated her feel good balloon.  My closing line was to just walk in eyes wide open and to remember there’s a reason it didn’t work out the first time.  But hey, have fun!

Then I heard that little voice.  “There how do you like a taste of your own medicine?”  That was so not like me.  Why did I take so much pleasure in pooh-poohing her news. Her reaction?  Radio silence.

I’m not proud of it, but a small part of me thinks she had it coming.  I’m not condoning my behavior, just taking stock of what went down.

Lesson learned in this?  You really have to pick and chose who you open up to.  Some things might be beyond another person’s emotional capacity.  Opening up to someone who lacks empathy only causes resentment in the long run.

Although blessed with a fair number of friends, I rarely mix them together.  Each one is so different and I enjoy my time with them separately.  Each brings something different to the table, so I can pick and chose who I go to for a pity party.  Those are short lived though.  No need to be a Debbie downer each time you see them.

At the end of the day, no real hard feelings between my bud and I, but I suspect she will be keeping her possible romance to herself.  That’s OK, I’ll be keeping my family issues to myself as well.

HEATHERS 2

Monday Weigh-in

I’ve started making excuses before I even step on the damn scale.  Brunch on Saturday morning, a big helping of pasta later in the evening, followed by lunch out for Mother’s day and two of the best mini cupcakes I’ve ever tasted in my life.  Seriously, like tiny morsels of heaven in your mouth.

Drum roll please…..184.4.  F*ck! I’m up 2.2 pounds.  Well, that pretty much confirms that I HAVE to track my points.  Winging it just does not work for me.  The weird thing is I actually feel a little lighter, and my clothes are starting to feel a little less snug.  My legs have even slimmed down a little.  I can SEE it in the mirror.  How is that possible?  No fair!!!

I really kicked it at the gym, too.  This always seems to happen.  Why do I start to get heavier on the scale yet smaller in my clothing, even after only a couple of workouts?  It’s so discouraging.  Working out gives me more energy and I feel better, but get heavier.  There’s no way I can be building muscle that quickly.  There’s no way my food choices were that bad.  Right? HHhhm…I’m perplexed.

Let’s see what next week brings.  Excuse me, I have to go track that gulp of air I just took in.