To say this past week has sucked ass is the understatement of the century. Yep, pull up a chair to the ole shit buffet.
It has been one thing after another. The emotional hits just kept coming. All I’ve wanted to do this week is numb myself by shoving as much food down my pie hole that is possible and staring blankly at the tv.
To start, Saturday ended with my adult son and I getting into an argument which led to the “maybe it’s time you start thinking of moving out” talk. We ironed out a financial plan for him to save for moving expenses and a couple months rent.
We even started looking at DIY videos on Youtube and deco ideas on Pinterest. Heck, he even opened up to the idea of having room mates. He and two girls he knows started looking at apartment listings. He was both scared and excited. And by “he” I mean “me”.
Then the rug was pulled out from under those plans. Work is slowing down and his hours are being cut. Soooo, looks like that is on the back burner once again. Sigh…
I know I sound like the world’s worst mom. Really, I’m not. I’ve been up and down with this lad since his teen years and I’m just plain tired now. As much as I’m trying to focus on just me and my so called transformation, it’s really hard. Multi tasking usually comes very easily to me. When it comes to all the work that needs to be done on myself though, I have a tough time if there are any distractions.
As much as I love him, he is a distraction. We seem to move from one crisis after another. He can be a really sweet young man, but he can also be very mean spirited and takes his frustrations out on me.
I don’t want to manage another person, I just want to manage me. Is that really too much to ask?