I’ll Let You Know

That’s what he said. Well, I’ll be damned.

I met someone over a month ago. Our texting/messaging exchanges have been really nice. Our first date was really nice. The best first date I have had in a while. He was a real gentleman.

Our second date happened the following Friday at his house. I was leaving for a business trip to France for two weeks the following day. He made me dinner, we chatted, we shared a little smooch at the end of the night.

We stayed in touch the entire time I was gone. We face timed, we kept in touch via Messenger daily.

I got back on Friday and we made plans to see each other on Sunday. I needed a day to get over the jet lag.

I bought him a little gift from Monaco. He loved it. As we were preparing dinner, sparks flew, the inevitable happened. Chemistry was definitely there.

Later on we got back to making dinner. He cooked and I made dessert. We sat up and talked for hours. We talked a lot about his childhood, his regrets in life. I asked him at one point if he was happy. He said no. He has had a hard time of life, both parents are dead, has nobody really, but an old aunt in Egypt. He rambles around alone in his big house, filled with beautiful furniture. He talked about eventually going back to Egypt in about 5 years.

Well….what the hell. I’m not so sure I want to invest if that’s going to be the outcome. I didn’t say that out loud of course, but it sure when through my mind.

He seems to be searching for something. He talked of regrets. He was kind of morose. I asked him why he was in a rush to go back to a place where he was unhappy and most of his troubles seemed to stem from there. I suggested that until he realizes that his happiness will not necessarily come from there, he won’t be truly happy here in Canada.

I slept over. When we went to bed, he was…cold. Not much cuddling, did not snuggle at all during the night, and he was practically hanging off the side of his king sized bed.

This morning was…weird. When I think back on last night, it was a little weird too.

He got up before me and after I showered and got changed, I found him downstairs in the living room having a coffee.

Dude….you’ve got a woman in your bed….and you’re in the living room by yourself?

I said good morning and went over to give him a kiss…he gave me his cheek. He then asked if I was going to have a coffee with him prior to leaving. Uhm…geez, should I take that to go?

A couple days ago, he said he would be in a neighborhood closer to where I live (sort of) doing his practical test for his new motorcycle next Friday. He said it would be perfect for him to come to my place. I would do the cooking this time around.

When I brought it up this morning, he said ”I’ll let you know.”.

You’ll let me know? I just looked at him, said ”ok”.

Shortly after my coffee, I left. He did not ask me to text him when I got home like he has previously. No mention of seeing each other again. Nothing.

Ten minutes after I left his house, I got into a car accident. Some old fossil of a man slammed into the back of my car. I’m ok, the old dude is ok, but his car is a mess.

When I got back home I messaged my dude. I wrote ”guess who got into a car accident 10 minutes away from your house.” He hasn’t seen the message yet, but I am very curious to see if he responds when he does.

I have been replaying the yesterday over and over in my head. Searching for clues of what went wrong. Did I say or do something off putting? Did he just want sex and then see ya later alligator? (I don’t think so). Does he have mental health issues? Maybe. He mentioned he is highly OCD. I saw glimpses of it, but nothing too crazy.

I know what you’re going to say…I slept with him too soon. I would hate to think that’s it. We are both adults, have been talking every day for over a month. Surely it can’t be that.

You know what I find fascinating about this whole scenario. The entire time, I have been thinking it’s something I must have done. Why is that always my default reaction? Why am I always so ready to take the blame for everything? Let’s face it, that dude was cold. I like him, think he is handsome, a gentleman, but I know that I would be miserable with someone who is not cuddly and affectionate. I am also not getting any younger. I don’t have 5 years to invest in someone only to have them up and leave the country without me.

Time will tell, but I am not holding my breath. I doubt I will ever hear from him again.

02 April 2022 – Saturday

I love Saturday mornings. There’s no better feeling than waking up and realizing that the day is completely mine and I have no deadlines to meet or co-workers to deal with. Well, mostly my boss.

I made a To Do list this morning. If I don’t, everything gets kind of overwhelming and I end up totally wasting the day. There are 17 items on my list. Crazy. If I can knock of at least half, I’ll be happy.

Tonight I’m going to Ilumi with Anila. We haven’t done anything fun in a while, so it will be good to get together. There’s always something to do in Montreal and I’ve kind of been slacking and not venturing too far out of my condo since the pandemic.

There’s a project I have committed myself to as well. An acquaintance of mine (can’t quite bring myself to saying she’s a friend) has asked me to help ghost write her journals. She is a recovering addict that had a tough couple of years and was homeless for several of them. She can be a bit much and I tend to keep her at arm’s length. She doesn’t always think before she speaks and is kind of emotionally and socially stunted. It’s like being with a high school teen at times.

Well, gotta get to that to do list. Wish me luck.

Me, Myself and I

Well heeeeey….it’s me, the prodigal blogger. I’m consistently inconsistent with my writing. I blame it on being a Gen Xer. We just don’t do well with agendas, rules, routines, expectations.    It’s a blessing and a curse.

I tend to fall on the introvert personality spectrum with a sprinkling of being a people person occasionally.   Lately though…I have been little miss one-man-wolf-pack…and I am LOVING it.

However, I feel kind of guilty for not reaching out to my friends more. I don’t want then to think I dont care about them. I just am so happy with my books, my podcasts, little projects around the house, introspection, self care, day dreaming, etc. My world feels complete.

It’s so liberating to come and go as you please, making decisions without having to take anybody else in consideration. 

Does that make me selfish? I never considered that point of view before. Maybe I am? I just find the world is spinning so fast and time is just flying. It feels good to just carve out some time alone and just sit and be.

A New Adventure Begins

Good morning, dear reader. It’s been a hot minute since I last wrote. Am I right? Sorry. So much has been going on. Let’s start from the begining.

A couple months ago, (ok, August) I added a 56th candle to my birthday cake. Woah…how did that happen? Time sure does fly.

Every year, I usually treat myself and buy a little something special. To date, I have bought a pair of Raybans, gold hoop earrings, a purse, perfume, a day at the spa. This year though, was the mother of all gifts. Are you ready for this?

I bought some land……Aaaaahhhhh!!!!!

It just kind of happened. It was always a ”wouldn’t it be nice if” kind of thing. After all, I’m only 19 months in with my very first mortgage. However, as with all things that are blessed and orchestrated by God, an opportunity presented itself and I took it.

My beloved prodigal’s bucket list includes buying land and starting a little hobby farm. He mentioned that if ever I wanted to pool our resources together, he would be down for it.

A couple months went by and my mom called one afternoon and said she was going to the Eastern Townships with my aunt. My cousin built a cottage a while back and has been living there permanently. He recently sold it because he has a growing family by way of grandchildren and wanted a bigger place to accommodate them.

Just by passing curiosity, I asked her to find out exactly where in the Townships he was located. We are not rich folk by any stretch of the imagination and I was curious as to how he was able to afford this.

I come from a very simple background. My parents never owned their own home, they rented. Family vacations were never abroad. Strictly day trips. I’m not complaining; we had a pool in the backyard, went to drive in movies, the zoo. It was a happy childhood.

When my teen years rolled around, my folks bought a piece of land in South Stukely. It must have been a steal, because again, simple folk. They started building a log cabin on it. Piece by piece. No banks involved. They used the lumber from the trees they cut down.

Years later, my folks divorced and my mom got the cabin. My dad passed away within a year of their divorce. Mom barely made enough money to support us both. When I turned 18, she decided we should go our separate ways. She ended up moving to the cabin, where she lived for many years. Mom was on welfare, and the government said she could not own her own home and collect. She had to sell. It broke her heart.

My beloved prodigal still remembers the log cabin from when he was a wee lad, and one of his dreams is to have that for himself one day. Reality is though, living in Montreal is not cheap. Being a blue collar guy, he is off work from December to mid-March. His funds can be limited if he does not plan ahead. He has come out and said on several times that he will be a renter all his life. He can’t afford a house.

It broke my heart and I have a bit of survivor’s guilt in this troubling real estate crisis we are all living through out here. I thought that was going to be in the same boat as he, a renter. I made a bold change, took a chance, and it ended up paying off. Big time. As a result, I now own my condo.

Long story short, we made an appointment to the owner of the development in the townships, were given a three hour tour of heaven on earth and signed on the dotted line. At 1.24$ per square foot, a lot that measures just under an acre…it was a STEAL. No banks involved. Very flexible payments. No penalties for paying off in full.

I did this because I wanted to give my son something to plan on and look forward to. It’s a legacy I want to leave for him and hopefully future grandchildren.

Nothing has been done yet. Our first year is simply to get used to the payments and to save as much as possible to pay the land off in full as quickly as possible. This coming Spring, the surveyor will be marking out lot with those poles. Sorry, I have no idea of the technical terms for this. Then we will start making plans for the beginning of clearing trees, etc. My plan is to spend my Summers there once I retire, and stay in my condo in the Winter.

I will be heading out there in a couple weeks and will take some pics and share them here.

Life is good, I count my blessings daily. That being said, my heart is a generous one and I am so happy that I had the opportunity and the means to do this.

Have an awesome day!

My Go-To Feel Good Place

Happy Sunday, dear reader. I trust you had a good weekend. Mine was mostly pretty good!

After a two week hiatus due to the weather, my good friend and I got up early Saturday morning and went for our weekly three hour hike in Mont. St.Hilaire. We logged in a total of about 10K. Not too bad for a couple gals who were huffing and puffing on the ascent from the parking lot at the beginning of the season! I don’t want to brag, BUT, my friend is 10 years younger than me and she was doing most of the huffing and puffing.

There is something about being in the mountains that is so very soothing for the soul. I had a miserable week due to sciatica (at least I hope that’s all it is) and the usual Friday night zinger from my boss, a.k.a. She Who Rides The Broom. No matter how well I have done all week, she will find SOMETHING to criticize. Miserable So and So.

Wishing five minutes of being there though, it all dissapeared. I was instantly in a good mood. The birds were singing, the sun reflected off the lake, the smell of freshness in the air, the sound of leaving swishing back and forth whenever a cool breeze would blow through. My Mecca.

There’s something pretty awesome about the hiking community. Save the occasional rude asshole on the trail that follows you so closely that you can practically feel their breath on your neck (it’s a Francophone Quebec thing), folks are pretty cool. I’ve had so many interesting little snippets of conversations here and there with total strangers.

There was a group of four men in their late 20’s, early 30’s training for a what we assumed was a Spartan race. One guy was having a bit of a time of it. Huffing and puffing and making all sorts of painful noises. He scared the hell out of us. When I saw him coming, I thought he was one of THOSE guys. You know the type. They’re at the gym and have to make a big noise to show everyone how hard you’re working. Dude, if you have to scream with every lift, you’re lifting too heavy.

Then another thought occurred to me….”OMG there’s a bear chasing him!!” So this is how it will end, we will be re-enacting a scene from the movie Revenant and get mauled to death by Yogi , Boo Boo and Smokey. Cue the blood bath. Nope (there are no bears in that region but I’m still terrified I will run into one some day. Well crap, now I have just put that out in the universe and have jinxed myself. It’s inevitable now).

Aaaanywaaay….about an hour later, close to summit, we ran into the loud dude, minus his three buddies. He was sitting on the side of the trail, looking a little bewildered. He asked us how well we knew the trail. He was debating if he should finish this trail or head back down. I was like, “Oh you will be fine. You only have about 30 minutes of climb and then it starts to even out”. My friend, who is the more compassionate and realistic one, advised him to head back down.

We chatted with him a little, and yup, he is training for the Spartan race. He started hyper ventilating and got scared. He admitted that he hadn’t trained in 6 weeks and hit a wall today. Perfectly understandable. It was crazy humid yesterday. We’ve all been there at some point. I joked that he had bad friends, leaving him behind like that. He said he was ok, just his pride was a little banged up. We told him he was doing a great job and that we had remarked as much when he first past us. Hopefully it gave him a big of encouragement and that his buddies were not too hard on him when they met up again.

So that was my day. Sciatica, humidity, pain. My calves are paying the price today for the over compensation in an effort to not strain my back and legs, but it was worth it. There was still no where else in the world I would rather have been. I hope to always be able to do this.

Things That Make Me Happy

I dont know about you, but it doesnt take much to make me happy. My beloved prodigal and I were reminiscing about the days when he was a wee lad. We didn’t have much, life was simple, but we were happy. We had our own little routine that did not always involve lots of people. Simple times, slower, less complicated.

I don’t need lots of material things to feel satisfied with life. It’s the things you can’t buy in a store that suit me just fine. That being said, I’m sharing some pics I snapped of my friend’s flower beds. She claims not to have a green humble, but I beg to differ.

Personally I prefer to grow my flowers from seed. I get a kick out of it. I feel all powerful as I nurse and care for my green babies. Ok, I water them. The rest is all encoded in a tiny little seed. Pretty amazing stuff. Dont you think?

Hey…Remember Me?

So yeaaahh…I’m back. Again. What’s been going on with me? Loads…and I’m not just referring to the amount of weight I have gained since the onset of this blasted pandemic.

I don’t even know where to begin. This post will just be a trailer to all that is swimming around in my head and clamoring for attention.

Dating – oh boy. I have sporadically dated on and off, even during the pandemic. I have come to a conclusion….I’m done. If ever a decent, nice looking, non socially retarded man walks into my life, I will swing those doors wide open and usher him in. Until then though, no thank you.

Home Renos. Yup, just one year in and my bathroom needs an overhaul due to….drumroll please. Mold. In. The. Walls. Fantastic.

Buying a piece of land. The pull to the country and away from the city is becoming increasingly attractive. I’m hooked on those tiny house shows and container living. It sounds worse than it is, trust me.

Getting my shit together. I seem to be all over the place most of the time. It’s really frustrating. I’m pretty sure I am undiagnosed ADHD. Being so easily distracted and always having several things on the go and nothing getting finished is driving me absolutely bonkers.

Random thought – I started this blog years ago in an attempt to document my weight loss journey. Since having done so, the exact opposite has happened. I have GAINED. Ugh. We might be going back to the office in the next couple months, and unless muu muus make a comeback, I’m screwed.

So many things to do, learn, experience, and not enough time to do them. I feel like a hamster on a wheel most days. Work sure has a way of slowing you down, am I right? Kidding. Kind of.

Changes in WordPress. I can’t navigate as easily as I used to. My fault for being away so long.

Happy Easter!

Peeps! Happy Easter! Wow, it’s been so long that I have written that I am unfamiliar with how to navigate through WordPress. Looks like some changes happened since I last logged on.

This week marked my first year anniversary as a home owner. Isn’t that crazy? A whole calendar year has gone by since this blasted pandemic started and we are still in the thick of it. We’re at the beginning of the third wave in my neck of the woods.

The government has been handling this like a bunch of flying monkeys in a circus sideshow. Curfews, no curfews, lock downs, no lock downs, kids in school, kids not in school. For crying out loud, can you pick one and stick to it before we all collectively lose our minds.

My prediction is that we will have a total of six waves. I don’t think this will end any time soon.

Well, enough about that. Today will be spent relaxing and then off to church at 4pm. Speaking of church, my beloved prodigal has started showing an interest in attending. Finally! I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.

Allrighty, have yourselves a wonderful Sunday! Talk soon.

C

Excuse me, Bugs, but where’s your mask?

10 January 2021

Just some random thoughts on our lifestyles during the pandemic and now imposed curfew in my neck of the woods. As hard as I found it in the beginning, I have started getting used to being comfortable with limited contact and being at home most of the time.

Prior to Covid-19, I was always on the go and all over the place. It took its toll on my energy and on my pocket book. Truth be told, I had a hard time sitting still and just enjoying the comfort of my home.

I also took for granted the little things in life. That tends to happen when you’re caught up in the daily grind.

Take for example how I spent my Saturday. I got up early, picked up a friend from church and we went to the sanctuary to take down the Christmas tree and store the decorations for another year. It felt so good to be in the sanctuary, taking our time removing each ornament. I stood back and took a couple minutes to appreciate the rich jeweled tones. So pretty. I held one up and looked at it as if it was the first time I have ever seen a Christmas bauble.

Not long after that, I felt my blood sugar dropping. I didn’t have the time to have coffee or breakfast and had thrown a banana in my bag for a snack. Don’t ask me why, but I’m coo-coo for bananas lately. Ordinarily I would be gulping it down as I multi-tasked. Instead, I took the time to sit back, relax and eat slowly.

I know I might sound like a whack job, but hear me out. Have you ever taken the time to appreciate all the different varieties of fruits and vegetables we have access to. Isn’t it amazing how each one has its own distinct shape, color, smell, taste and texture? Mind blown.

Honestly, part of me is now embracing how the world has slowed down. It’s giving me the chance to literally stop and smell the roses (or bananas). Colors seem to just pop like never before. Tastes, smells, and sounds and smells have all intensified. I feel like my soul is being nourished like never before.

Look at me, getting all hippy-dippy. Who would have thunk it?

08 January 2021

Well so much for writing Every. Single. Day. That lasted a whole hot minute, didn’t it? I am grateful to still have a job during this pandemic but boy does it get in the way of savoring every little minute of life. The rat race stinks.

My first week back was not too bad. We are swamped and overloaded, but I managed to keep my cool and take everything in stride. We’ve got a mock FDA inspection in a week’s time and documents to be filed are just coming out of the wood work, left right and center. Aaaaaaand where were these documents hiding all this time, exactly? Sigh…this industry never changes in that regard. Semi-retirement, I am counting the days.

My boss was actually nice this week. Fingers, toes and eyes crossed that it will last.

In other news, how about those animals storming senate in Washington this week….I have no words. I will say this, though. The likelihood that these shit disturbers care a lick about politics is highly unlikely. Any excuse to wreak havoc and make trouble is the agenda, I’m sure.

Closer to (my) home – we are officially under lockdown curfew starting tomorrow night. Did I go to sleep and wake up in the middle of Europe during World War II? What the hell…

Don’t get me started about how the Quebec government is handling this. Ten months into a pandemic and they are driving us nuts with the constant flip flop back and forth of rules. Everybody stay home and businesses are closed, but kids are allowed back in school.

Oh yeah, this won’t be ending any time soon.

Thanks for stopping by.