Happy Sunday, Peeps and Peepettes. Ok, so this is the last installment of the week of The Monday Curveball. If you aren’t in the loop, you can catch up on it here and here .
Onward..so by the time Thursday rolled around, my office mate and I decided pedicures after work would be a treat following the craziness of the week.
Minutes before leaving the office for the day, my beloved prodigal called me. I could tell right away something was up. I kept looking at the clock and couldn’t help but feel a wave of anxiety creep its way into my gut and my chest. Why is it I can never seem to carve out some time for myself without some crisis cropping up? Our appointment was at 5:30, so I asked if I could call him back. He sounded put off. So of course, I felt guilty for not dropping every thing and catering to his needs as though he were 5 years old.
So, I called during the pedicure. During what was supposed to be a time of relaxation and discussing things other than this stupid week with my friend. Instead, I listened to his tale of how he has been driving withing car insurance for about a year.
I couldn’t help but feel there was something he was leaving out . What happened that made him realize he had no car insurance? Apparently he got pulled over for an illegal turn A COUPLE MONTHS AGO and he did not have his insurance papers on him. The officer let him off with a warning and let him go. Now all of a sudden he finds out he is no longer insured.
He was in a panic because he was told by the insurance broker that it is a criminal offense, his car could be impounded, he could pay heavy penalties, he’s not sure anyone else will insure him, bla bla bla. Can you see where I am going with this? He basically played in to his fears and my son fell for it, hook line and sinker.
A little background info..his last move was on the heels of a breakup with his live-in girlfriend. He was under a lot of stress and asked for help coordinating a couple things. One of them was to hop on to the government website to advise of his change of address. This site then applied those changes for his driver’s license, his medicare card, and anything income tax related.
Long story – his attitude was very accusatory and I said “It sound like you’re blaming me for all this”. His answer? “I’m ABSOLUTELY blaming you for this!”. What? How? Well, apparently, when he asked me over a year ago, if there was anything else I could think of that needed to be advised of his change of address, I said “no, that should be it”. To which he said “are you sure?”.
By the sounds of it, he thought that this website was some uber portal that waves a magic wand and everything and everyone gets notified. No, no, no. How does that even make any sense? I explained that to him and instead of fessing up that it was a misunderstanding, he chose to blame me.
I flipped. I said that I assumed that he had sense enough to know what this did and did not cover. His usual retort was that nobody has ever helped him in his ENTIRE life.
Same. Old. Broken. Record. Again.
The conversation was going nowhere fast, so I said I was not listening to this and hung up.
At what point exactly do I stop being responsible for every little thing in his life?
I had the shittiest, most stressful week ever. I’m probably going to lose my job at some point. Do I really need this petty finger pointing at this point? No. I don’t.
What bothered me the most about this conversation though, was the ease in which, at 27 years of age, he reverted back to his old ways of not trusting me and accusing me of not helping him.
I have bent over backwards to help this young man his entire life. I’ve gladly sacrificed so much – my time, my social life, my money, my privacy, my living space after one of his breakups, helped with his expenses while he was in school, paid for his groceries, gas, etc. I can sleep very well at night because I know I am a good mother.
But I’ve “never taught him anything his whole life”. It’s laughable.
I’m so exhausted. I don’t have the energy for any arguments. I have nothing to say to him right now. He needs to learn that he cannot go off like this anymore. It’s immature. It’s embarrassing to both of us. He’s a man now, but acted like a foolish young boy who blames his mommy every time something goes wrong. As much as I love him, truth be told, I’ve no intention of entertaining a spoiled brat. He’s got some ‘splaining to do.